Scrowls of compfort and souls from dark pages

Etaine sits with the scowl in her hand smiling to herself as she reads it again, every word of caring, the red lipstick slightly smeared in one corner and the small paw prints on the back.
She so wished she could see them all again but she knew that even though a lot had been turned to the better theses last few days with the help from Isance especially but also some of the words from Chit she was still not read to see them... Together. The wound was slowly healing and most thoughts of Jas was on how he had been kind and helping her, but it was not all. The darkness still flooded her mind from time to time where she would pull the blanket close around her and clutching the pillow to her face to drown out the crying and distraught screams of loss and pain. Her knuckles still bruised from ramming them into the cold stone wall or the trunk of a tree in her rage at the betrayal she felt at times.

She had come to Ferals, it had been a long run but she had needed it, Chits words still ringing in her ears... Was he to go back on that promise as well?

The little hatching had apparently felt like staying as it had follwed her on her run and was now laying wings spread wide on its back snoring.

She placed the scowl by her side and took up a couple of parchments and dipped the tip of the quill in the ink as she started to write with a fine steady hand on the first of the letters. She bit her lips as she ponder on how many of these she would actually be sending.


*a sleender dark form watches from a tree above with a malicious smirk. If only she was not just the fine traces of a twisted soul caught between the pages of a book. She knew she was not the only one this book held more souls that she would dare to count. But why she was out like this, she still did not figure but the dark whispers that had tormented and haunted her for so long had given her a chance to get a little part of her self back... A part she thought lost to the void... She would not fail... Her green eyes run over the girl and the hatchling before she pulled back into the shadows..

Griphon hatchlings and wise worgens

Sometimes these days it feels like i am seeing the world for the first time. All these things people keep telling me, making my head spin.

I would have it otherwise so finally she took the small bed. I can hear her light snorring funny how it holds a light snarl to it at times, wonder why that is.

The stone is hard under the blankets but i don't mind, i have learned to appreciate a good bed but i like the feel of the world around me as i run my fingers along the floor beside me. I have found out that if i close my eyes and focus i can feel if someone is walking nearby, well they need to be pretty close but still.

I have not seen the paladin today, think he is of to be in Stormwind, i know that look in his eyes but i cant quite but a finger on it.
Oh well...

The little guy has apparently decided that we are a good team as he doesn't want to leave my side crawling up onto my lap if I'm sitting down or biting at my ankle if i am not.
Maybe i should give him a name?
Wonder how Jack, Nell and Missy are doing, well Cora is probably spoiling them all if i know her.

So there is a good and a bad darkness, interesting? Well Imorgan helped Lumi and saved her life so is she of Elune just like Isance?
She asked me many questions but she also told me a lot.
Hard question about my further path but she is helping me take my mind of him...
I miss him badly still and sometimes i still wish it was all a dream but no he will never be more than a friend and i have accepted that now, he has always been kind and helpful even after all of this he comes to my aid in Eversong, he buys me the bags, makes that rose and gives me a map. He is a good...friend

Isance was not very happy about a lot of the things i told her but she doesn't understand. I was the one to ask for time a lone away from starlight but still she thinks it weird that i have not been contacted by any of them, that they had not sent someone to try and give my guidance in the darkness. I don't know if she is right or wrong, i think they are just respecting my wishes and besides most of them didn't know how to find me before i put up the note on the wall.
I miss them, but why would they even miss me? Jas said some had asked about me.

Isance is right, that there is only one who decides our fate, that we are responsible for every action we make.
I feel ashamed for some of the things i have done these last couple of months but i will do what i believe is right and ill just have to see where it takes me.

So do i wish for the shadows or not? It was scary when she told me the consequences if one gives in to them instead of wielding them. I do not want to fall like that that is for sure...

I need to get some sleep so i pull the pillow back against the wall resting my back against it, feeling the smooth surface and the light chill that clings to it.
The little guy is snoring loudly in my lap... I didn't know that gryphons could snore nor like to cuddle up on peoples laps.

All in due time

I let the burning desert sand run throug my fingers, a contrast to the cold stone at ny back. My skin is starting to tann slightly already and every breath feels like sandpapir. I am surely not use to the desert climate. I know that just as burning it is during the day just as freezing cold will it get at nights.

Why did he tell me i had failed? I mean, i did everything he asked and he tells me i failed?
He payed that wizard to open a portal and gave me that magical stone so i could get back in the blink of an eye, just by saying a word.
It felt like my stomach was turning when i stepped throug commin out just beside the magetower. I ran like whipped just to get away from there. Pulled my hood further down over my face, making me look like sonekind of cultist as i sneaked around the city afraid to run into any of them, afraid to get recognised.
what scared me the most was to pinn my scroll to the wall.
I was there for there for the entire time, as the large city bell rang i could not get the stone activedted fast enough and i ketp falling over the words and cursing myself for it.
Finally i was back in Tanaris, the hot dry desert air burning my lounges and the warm felt like beeing pushed head first into a brick wall but i was proud.

He was not!

He sighed deeply when i stod before him an announched my return.

I had done to well to fast he said. He placed his hand near my heart as he looked into my eyes telling me that u was not healing, i was just hiding the pain, scowlding me with my own teaching.

A wound takes a long time to heal, the greater the wound the longer it takes. He tells me that a wound left unattended and undressed will fester with darkness, that he cleaned my wound by i need to tend to it so it will not fester again.

Come on? What does he expect. I know this.
But what of the others? Where their wounds not that deep or why can they move on so quickly? Ibelin, Reike... Jas? Its only been a couple of weeks and all have been swepped under the rug like dirt.
Was our time together not wort more? Guess he had moved on before he even broke it off.
Or am i just a slow healer? Should i find someone elses arms? Is that what it takes to forget?

No time is the only thing that heals and i am beginning to understand what he is trying to show me.
Maybe they can all just jump to the next... Maybe it meant so little it was not a wound like mine but mearly a small cut, one to not even leave a scar.

So what is my next step? Just wait?
I miss almost all of them; Rabbit always trying to look after me and making me feel better, Irenyas wise words,
Stoen and Devvys talks at the bridge, Tahrina and Allys reasuring words, Ibelin beeing all fatherly with advice, heck even Tikal with his wild nature yet caring when he speaks.
I need to get to know the rest better,Milwin, Chit, Atarane, Sehlanna and Zarcon, Tuskhira, Nomine as well.
And the ones which names i do not know or remember.

But in time... All in due time...

Blissfully naive

Why did i call for him? Well he was the one to send the letter asking to see me. I know it . was just as friends. It hurt like fell having him see me like this. Made me think... A lot. I am glad he is happy but that bath really made me want more, if friends act like that then i can understand my long conserne about his friendship with her.
He bought me some different stuff to help my travels, the rose i am unsure what to make of? I mean, why not just a stone, why a rose? I will keep it close as the magic will help my travels a lot. I felt broken when i left, hid outside crying my eyes out. I decided to move away, the shadows seem to cling to me, i dont even know for how long i was out this time... I remember arguing and a dark cave, then i woke in his arms, the cold metal of that shining armor making my head hurt even more. My reflexes seems to be on edge as he softly pointed out that i did not need the dagger i was holding against his throut. I moved away not sure what to make of it all. He told me what had happened... He made me sound like some crazy person... Again making me think...
He wanted to help me. His logic seemed fair so i let him, its not like i feel the light myself anymore.
I surely regrettet that help, sure he did not enjoy the bite to the hand but he should have warned me. I have only felt such a pain once before and that was also by the hands of a paladin. It left me all drained, almost staggering through that blasted sand, a little walk, it felt like a life time... Why did Jas take the time to clean my fathers grave? Need to send him a letter to thank him or well just use the necklace. He said he would keep the ring. Well finally got to that goblin city. He told me to take his room and he would sit outside until i woke, just to make sure i kept safe. Why? Well maybe thats a silly question he is of the light after all... I was like that myself before.
I could not sleep, like always as of late but this was different , my head was full of thought about the ladt couple of months, Irenya was right and for the first time i can understand her words. Seems the light burned deeper than i first though, leaving me with a clear mind.
It is not like i do not hurt... That paladin just burnef some persepective into me, taking away the dark doubts... For now at least.

What have i done to myself... How did i ever get so blind and stopped listening to the light, if i had just percived the warnings non of us would have been hurt, but i guess all happens for a reason right or at least thats what the paladin tried to tell me.

I have a lot of wrongs to right but i am a thousand miles away from beeing anyway near as strong as to return... Maybe someday the wound has healed and the scar my only reminder?

Etaine falls asleep, the dark figure of a woman hisses from outside the city.
"Naive girl, you will still fall, they all do"