A trip to Tenaris

It has been some trip to say the least... I think Jerry liked the new bathing suit i have been working on as i find the bikini i had laying around slightly to small and revealing.

Barney came with an elf, she reminded me very much of Kalanthe... well until she spoke... Kalanthe could seem so rude but also so wise. This elf appeared younger of mind and much more ignorant of the ways  of men as she have not been amongst humans much. But she was nice and it has been a while since i have had a sensible talk with another woman.

The first night there was mind blowing so unlike anything i have ever felt before... It is like every time we are together it becomes... more... more of everything...

We went to some abandoned place out there because Walt neede to look for some things. Vilkas came along with Walt, Jerry and myself. Was exciting... I think i will try to learn more about glyphs and deciphering and such.

I went back to Stormwind but the others seemed to linger for a while.

I meet with Aylian at Mirror lake and we had a very nice very girly talk... Then we find out that sly dog to Jerry had been listening in... I could have just killed myself...
I know i have told him most of the things; my dreams; what he means to me and such but this was different... and all my childish dreams will just sent him running for the hills at some point...
It was a relive to know that Aylian has some of the same dreams as myself, makes me feel less foolish...

I think i will have more talks with her... Without Jerry...

He said he would come later... cant wait to be in his arms again... i cant ever get enough...

Back in Westfall

There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, a throbbing moment...

But it still feels like it was always meant to be... That we were created to be together, to be fore each other...

Last night was wonderful yet frightening.
I meet with the others at the Heart a little late, had been sleeping in and used a lot of time practicing with the bow. I really enjoy using it and at some point i will ask Jerry to take me hunting...

Jerry had been out exploring all day and he came and told us he had found a strange light by some titan ruins. We all went to see what he had found and it was indeed a great light. Jerry ended up falling into it and we discovered it was a portal to Un'Goro. I was so frightened when Jerry disappeared into the light, but luckily for the ring i gave him i could reach him and know he was alright.
That was a very expensive gift but it has been worth every coin i had scraped together. Thank for Starlight for giving me the stone that gave me the idea for the ring.
But Jerry came back safely...

There was this large crystal near the portal and Jerry ended up chipping of a piece to bring back with us but i am still unsure is that was a good idea as there seemed to be something with that crystal... It was pulsating with some kind of radiant power.

When we walked back i came to think about the dream i had last night but i was not sure if i was ready to be with Jerry after what happened in Stormwind.
But i could not help but to tease him a little, whispered in his ear...
SO when we came to the Heart Jerry pulled me away... I cant describe in words how we are together but it can still take my breath away to just think about...

It was nice to just sit and talk, about everything... I was glad that he had not been with as many as my mind was playing around with but that he has been with Aylian like that i am not to fond of, though his reassuring was indeed convincing...

I am very excited about meeting his family but also scared to death... Why has he not brought anyone else home? It is kind of a pressure... But also it makes me happy to think that he will take me.

I just need to cool down a little i am letting my feelings run of with me... I just cant help it... He is so wonderful in every way possible, so attuned to my feelings and always thinking of me when it comes to me being happy.
Though i told him that it was a little hard on me when he dosent think about what he says to other women...

I don't mind him flirting i just don't like it when i am there unless if remembers to compliment me equally... I am silly i know but after Jas i just need to be reasured that it is me he wants and not someone else...

I love how open we can be with each other... no secrets but still privacy that we can still have each our own lives beside our live together.

It was nice to see Walter being so sweet and caring towards Shan, she really deserves that...

I fell asleep in Jerrys arms under the palm tree, didn't take until we were flying on Crash over Westfall. He had carried me in his arms, wrapped me in a cloack and brought me home...home how can he not have a home? i mean he will always have a home with me... but that is not HIS or even our home.. it is mine... I know he is a free spirit but a home for me is my safe place.. my nest and my sanctuary... Indeed home is where the heart is and so it will be with him...


- the light protect him and keep him safe when i cannot.

The camp in Sholozar

It was a slightly weird day today... When i came from the camp after my bow practice, Shan came all distressed as Walter had gone missing somewhere in The Storm Peaks with Jerry. We quickly flew up there but found them at a camp near Ulduar. The weather was terrible, so good thing i always carry my backpack or i would have frozen to death. But Jerrys presence can warm me so even Icecrown would not be able to get me cold.
 Walter wanted to go search the ruins of the titans and one could not blame him.
But it all went bad when the blizzard almost took me of the edge of a bridge... It would have sent me to my death at that hight. But we got back safely to the base camp.
 Barney found us up there... He seems very nice but hard to approach, i sense that there is something that is troubling him.

We went back to the Heart to relax and Aylian joined us. I don't know why i keeps nagging at me, the things Jerry says to her because i am not sure he even knows what he is saying at times and i really don't think he means anything by it, so i should stop letting it put me down.

I don’t care how hard being together is, nothing is worse than the thought of being apart...

We went to bed early... unsure if something is wrong cause i think it is the first time Jerry has wanted to go to bed early. We cuddled up all night. Just laying in each others arms. I could not bare to move after he fell asleep afraid i would wake him. I don't think i will ever get enough of just watching him sleep... My murlock man!

River's Heart

No matter where i go, I will always find my way back to you. You are my compass star in the dark of night.

These days in Sholozar has helped get past what happened in Stormwind. Jerry has been right by my side when i get start to feel the pain. Always reassuring me that he will be by my side.

He was a little sad that i had not called for him when it had happened but i think he understands why i could not.

He has been around me most of the time being his usual charming self, making me laugh and have a good time. But he has also been so very affectionate, finding flowers, taking me around to see the breathtaking sites, showing me the forest animals.

I have been training with the bow when i have needed a little solitude and Jerry has been with the others. I am getting quite good at it, so maybe there was something to what Jim said... that i was a natural?

I can't quite seem to get Walter, when he gets all weird. Running around like a headless chicken... He seems to go almost crazy... And it is hard to watch the distress and pain in Shans eyes. She is so nice and when Walt is "himself" they are the perfect couple.

When we traveled here Jerry took us to this small Murlock settlement. It was wonderful to see his joy being around them and the murlock babies where SO cute.

They are rather fascinating when they are not trying to kill you...

The Heart is really a paradise, the thundering waterfalls, the crystal blue lagoon, the lush vegetation and the humid climate.

Was slightly embarrassing being in so little clothes around all those beautiful women. They perfect sculptured bodies and little awkward looking me.

It was awkward to talk about Thom in front of Jerry, but he could never be a rival even if he would come around to try...

I am really not looking forward to going back to Stormwind again but i need to face my demons at some point... As long as i don't hear -that- voice again... I hope i will be fine...


- The light protect me from my fears and keep us all safe

At the camp

I just cant go home... How will he react? I don't want him hurt and we are going on that trip tomorrow with the others... don't want to spoil that either...

It had been ages since i have been at the lighthouse, but it seemed the best place to hide.. after what happened.
I don't know what do about it... The bruising and such are almost gone, my healing has sought to that. But the images are still so clear in my mind, the smells still so strong in my nostrils. There are only so much my light can heal...

I can't do anything about it so no need to get anyone hurt... But how could this happen and almost in the middle of Stormwind?

It will be a relive to get away from it all tomorrow with the others... getting my mind on something else...

Will be good to see Jerry again, i have missed him terribly and its only been two days... But will i be able to look him in the eyes?

Suck it up and move on all there is to do about that... I am stronger than this... I need to be...


- The light... ohh whats the use
I feel my own cracks, the shatters, the insanities of dislocation in myself, how can i be so broken and he only sees perfection? As long as that is how he views me i will not crumbles into broken pieces. His is the one that holds me together and i can not lose that...

In his arms

I knew the second I met you that there was something about you I needed. Turns out it wasn’t something about you at all. It was just you... And tonight has only emphasized that.
Tonight was ecstatic... Your words made my heart swell... If that day ever comes... Ohh by the light, i will be in eternal bliss...
But i am afraid my words scared you. I just hope you understood that i will never chain you... i will never hold you back... If you want the same as i one day, then you shall be the one to choose it.

All i want is to be the friend you fall hopelessly in love with.
The one you take into your arms and into your bed and into the private world you keep trapped in your head.
I want to be the one who will memorize the things you say as well as the shape of your lips when you say them.
I want to know every curve, every birthmark, every shiver of your body.
I want to know where to touch you, I want to know how to touch you.
Yes, I do want to be your friend... I want to be THAT friend.

We lost ourselves on the terrace... We succumbed to our desires... to our love...
You set my soul on fire... But you’ve slipped under my skin, invaded my blood and seized my heart...

As we walked home i could not look anyone in the eyes feeling that everyone saw... everyone heard...

And now laying here in your loving embrace. Your hands on my naked skin. Listening to your heartbeat and feeling your sweet hot breath in my hair.

I have never loved you any more than I do, right this second. And I’ll never love you any less than I do, right now...


- the light let this moment never end, let the moon stay in the sky and keep the sun asleep, for now i know what true bliss feels like.

A starfilled night

The darkness in Nagrand had its reason... found that out tonight.
Jerry had been in trouble in Westfall... But he did right by saving that poor child...

It was hard in winterspring... the fear of loosing him but its a learning process and i trust him completely.
I would never hold him back and well i like cumming along as well, seeing the world.

I can only trust in the light to keep us all safe and that my meager skills in the ways of healing can help if anything goes south...


It is good to learn of my own limits and where i need to train harder... Sister Brianna tells me to take it slow... to not force what she thinks comes so natural to me.

But i cant wait anymore... what is some of them got really hurt and my skills were not enough?
How could i live with myself if i could have made a difference but was to weak?


Well i will train alone as well...


Think i will ask Jerry for that hunting trip when we get to Northrend, think there is a lot of game there.
But i should also maybe have him help me a little more in my fighting skills, cause that is a thing that has NEVER come natural to me.


First time he has gone home before me... It almost weird walking home and knowing he will be there?






- The light give me strength to stand tall with the others, the power to protect them and the wisdom to use it well.

On my way to the cathedral

Yesterday was such a mix of feelings...

It all started when i came from the cathedral. We were all going on a trip to Winterspring and i was really looking forward to that. The i see this young girl selling gloves and i remember i have forgotten mine at home. As i talk with her i get this feeling inside that she needs to be with us... There is something wrong... She holds another destiny.

My radio is weird again so i Ask Jerry to talk with Walt for me and he lets her come...
It was some travel but the portal in Rutheran helped.

By the light it was much colder than i had remembered over there. I had to call upon the light to keep me warm. At first that was not a problem...

Walt leads us into some old elven ruins... haunted... I could feel their dark spirits crawling under my skin always drawn towards our life sparks... But Walt and Jerry do good to protect us... Wish i was more of a fighter and could be of more help...
We found a lot of nice things in the ruins, even some gems. Ejlah would not take hers so i told her i would. I will keep them safe for her until she gets to terms with being a free woman... They are hers after all...
Then the trees started to attack... i was knocked of my feet by some wind storm they conjured. I saw one of them trying to cast a spell on Jerry... i reacted almost on instinct... I called upon the fires within the light just like i had done with Sister Brianna in Outlands and lounged it at the tree. I did not take it out but i disupted its spellcasting long enough for the others to take them down...
After that it was hard holding onto the warming light and the blizzard became stronger... As i was pulling Jack the Yak along i did not see that we lost Jerry.

We made it to the goblin town my light nearly quenched along with my strength... Ohh how i had forgotten the toll of using the light like that... I need to train me stamina more when it comes to the light.

Ejlah was as cold as ice when we got into the inn so i used up what left of my flame to warm her.
After that it got a little hazy... I remember that i wanted to run out and find Jerry but Shan stopped me, i was to weak to fight her at that point... I cried out for him and the necklace must have activated... Cause he answered... And knowing he was alright and Walt was getting him i went willingly with Shan inside again...

Good thing Shan stopped Ejlah from going as well, she would not have survived the storm in that dress but she was so brave for trying to do something...

I don't remember much for a while then before Jerry is holding my kissing me with icy lips... If had had any light left i would have given it to him...

The hot chocolate helped on my strength and Jerry being beside me did as well... He strengthens me somehow...
Ohh and i got my first pay... don't care for the money but it makes me feel like a real part of the group now.

We went back to Stormwind... Reike was there... I am still having a hard time around her... unsure of everything... and this anger towards her... why?

Well hope it will be better... that i can forgive... i know it is in my nature... then why is it so hard right now?

I needed to get some to bed could hold my ground much longer... I didn't want to spoil th others night so i just snug off with quick goodnights.

I needed Jerry when i got home and the images he had put in my head by the pond did not help... I called for him and he came as soon as i asked. He told me i was silly that today had been nothing, heck even the westfall trip had been worse... But i could have lost him.. That was why i needed him so badly...

To be in his strong arms having him whisper that everything was alright and that he loved me... It pushed the darkness away... and all that was left was the desire to be with him... feel him...

We have been very consumed by desire and slightly wild together together until now but this night was different... I think he was glad that i was alright... his eyes as he looked at me... The feel of his strong arms around me... his soft caressing touch running along my burning skin... the gentleness of his kisses on my body... the feel of his soft lips against mine... The light save my soul... cause my heart is lost...
It was intense in a way i have never felt before... more deep... the promises we whispers in our passion was only for the night to hear...
Our bodies melting together.. giving way for our soul to touch... It felt like in a dream and my head was spinning like after to much wine... 

Wonder what he meant about westfall...?


- By the light I was prepared to love you, but i never expect anything of you.. anything like this...

Under the apple tree in the moonlight

I really hate tequila... but i think i got some respect downing all three... Well drank a lot when i was on the run, to hide the pain and sorrow... Why do we do that???

I has been a fun night... Firstly i ran into Walter and him inviting me to join the white shirt... they drinking and hitting on girls club... should i be flattered or insulted i wonder...

No matter it was fun... we ran around like lunatics hitting on everything with a pulse but failing badly every time... they could use some pointers...
But it was all in jest no follow through on anything...

And when the evening ended Jerry followed me home even after i stated that he did not have to leave the guys, he could just come later.

It was a hot night and i am quite sure my bed needs some medical attention but i am terrible with a hammer and nail... It is nice just sitting her cooling down... think i should go take a swim but it is really starting to chill from the north though the hot water from Stranglethorn still mingles in front of the house... Think ill go have a dip and then go and snuggle up to Jerry all wet and cold...


- The light guide my steps and keep him safe

At home in bed

Ohh by the light my head feels like it is going to explode... What happened last night? Ohh right, the talk with Shan about Whalt just brought back so many bad memories... God thing i held my ground when Whalt came and found us, as i was ready to take it all out on him... But it is not my place to meddle and Whalt really seems like a nice guy...

Well Aylian seems nice as well but so insecure of herself and what she has to offer, maybe that's why she uses her body the way she does? To cover up what lies beneath, so afraid that people would not like what she is... inside... Poor woman

I still think it strange about that bite mark and i don't really believe her when she said she thought i said feral instead of feline... i don't know much about animal bites so i could be wrong... and why was it a secret... making me swear not to tell? Well my paranoia sure has its ideas but again it is not my place... I am scared by my path and sees ghosts every where i guess.

... well okay it was not all just about Shan and Whalt.. i know... But the thought of him calling her that just made me feel so insignificant. I don't care what he has been calling girls in the past.. I just hope he doesn't use those words about them... now?!
She is SO beautiful and what am i compared to that, i saw her almost naked and that a body a simple little thatchers girl from Westfall could only dream about... I did not see her "HOT" legs though but i am sure he is right... everything else about her looks is perfect.

Ohh right that woman Miss Kate i think it was... strange i actually think she was hitting on me? never really understood that whole woman desiring another woman... i is very strange how it seems that one is much for attractive to others when they are in a relationship, its like you send out some kind of feramone or something... Just hope Jerrys not to strong or he at least has the will to not succumb... I still hold a spark of doubt in my heart... but it is not because of him... it is still the memory of Jas lurking in the darkness of my mind.
Was funny to hear Jerry and miss Kate talk almost like rivals... but he knows i would never be with another man OR woman.. does he not?

Well a good think i haven't seen rolling hips guy Selacious around for a long time, that fire he seemed to start back then still burns inside... not for HIM of course, but just burns and it is hard at times to hold down.. the rage, the passion... burning like molten lava in my core.

Ohh my head.. i think i am thinking to much to early...

At Nesingwarys camp in Nagrand

It has been a long weekend of training, though it was exciting being in the outlands... I remember i have been there once before but that was only in Shattrah city when Lumi was rescued.
But to actually travel around out here with Sister Brianna is so very exciting. I told her i needed to get back home before Tuesday, she didn't seem happy about that, making her little frowny face that just makes her look so cute.
The outlands are so strange some places are pure beauty and others are so corrupted and twisted it almost hurts.

I wonder what Jerry has been up to in my absence, i miss him though i think it good that he can have some time with the boys or to himself. I don't want to be hanging around him in every waking moment.

We need to have our own lives as well as a life together...

I cant wait to see him again though... He has been in my dreams every night since we last saw each other...
Was thinking of sending him a letter but didn't... only gone for the weekend not like i am away for a year...

I am really looking forward to seeing the others as well when i get home... Maybe i should find out where Whalter and Shanura lives and go visit them?
And really looking forward to the trip to Winterspring and i hope the worm clothes i am working on when we do not train will be finished in time.

We are staying in Nagrand for the night, Sister Brianna knew a dwarf that had a campsite there Mr Nesingwary i think it was. I would love to come here with Jerry one day as i like this place very much. But the memories come creeping along with the darkness of night... The waterfall near Shattrah, the appletree, being left alone again but also the that one good night where he put Reike aside an really tried to be there for me.
We had some good times me and him but he wanted her and i can only be glad for that now as it has given me Jerry.

With Jerry i can be myself... really myself... Not the polite and shy little girl that so many see.
To be anymore than all I am when i am with him would be a lie, I'm so full of love, I could burst apart and start to cry but i wont that would be silly.

Goodnight my love... where ever you are... Stay safe until we are again in each others arms... you've got a face like no other; I'll keep it where I see things right... I'll keep you in my heart, during the long dark night...


- The light protect us and keep us safe