By the light I forgot how bad one can feel after a night of drinking... I must really be out of shape cause back in the circle I could easily drink with the white shirts... Well it has been almost one and a half years since I last tasted alcohol.
It was a mixed night indeed... How could he be SO rude? And most importantly why does it bother me so much?
I am so sorry that I left Stoen re-winterveil party in the middle of it but I felt like the room was shrinking and I was being suffocated. I had to get out... Sitting back against the tree with my legs pulled to my chest and relaxing my head against my knees helped but I was terrified when I heard those cultists, or what they were, talking. I was sure that if they saw or heard me they would most surely end my life for what I heard...
Well I managed to sneak away and got a bottle of bourbon on the way back to socialize though I was in no mood for it...
Why have I become increasingly angry and easily annoyed over the last month or so?
Its the roller coaster all over again except this time there is no men to blame for my foul mood swings.
That fortune cookie I keep seeing the phrases in my mind "A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not why ships are built."... It is really all life is about right?
That is also why I have taken a chance with Thane cause I know it will end badly at some point... Just like the Jas and Jerry. Hey at least there is no J in his name and he has green eyes *chuckles to herself* I just want to feel that someone cares... And yes it is properly my own fault that I don't fell that already. I mean before last night.
I could have killed him for throwing that bottle away, why could he not just have let me drink?
I was angry and hurt and really really drunk...
But he did make me forget the world... forget all my troubles just like I asked of him...
What a night... So horrible and so blissfull...
- Light let me forget a little more
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