In Jasdevis quarter in the mage tower

He has gone to his studies now.

I am sitting on his bed, no one knows i am here... I know this can get him in a lot of trouble, but i wanted to be close to him... I need him so much right now...

But if Reike manages to turn his head once more it will not go this way. How humiliating to stand there like a trial... All i said i had alsready the night before to Jas so what it was all for her?

I know she has her own troubles... maybe she should deal with them first. Jas is not a child. I know what i have done has hurt him but that does not give him the right... I almost went away from there, his eyes were the only thing keeping me.

Jerome was nice to me, tried to stand up for me, noticing... well that does not matter... I love Jas and i will bare this humiliation as a punishement for what i did...

But can i trust him to not behave like this again?

He needed her there... her support... and what about the Jerry and me? did he think we did not need someone to stand by us? that it did not hurt us?

Calm yourself Etaine

By the nethers it is only because i love him so that this hurt so badly.

But after she was gone, he came to me, he said that he too was sorry for this and that helped. I cannot stay mad at him when i am the one to blaime for his hurt.

All this has done that i have not had time to find a place for myself, but at least now i know i needs to be outside the city as i cannot breath here anymore.

I will go look for a place today if Jas can sneak me out, maybe with one of those portal things.

And i will go seek out Jerome to night, as Jas talks with Reike. I may not love him like I do with Jas but i still care greatly for him... I actually think i have hurt him the most, even though i know Jas will never be able to see that.

I had planned something special for night...need to go and cancel it... as he will be with her instead.

I can only hope that there will be tim efor it later... I pay that all this has not taken away his desire to show me how he feels... for me.

- The light guide my steps and keep my soul forever safe.