On the way to Westfall

Been a hard day with a lot of traveling and preparations....
After i finished i went to find Jerry. I was told that he would be at the fighting arena under the tram. I havent been there before. Was exciting and scary at the same time.

He was there with Walter, and a couple of others i do not know... but what was up with that large cat. Nealy killed poor Walter... She had her eye for Jerry as well, she must be in heat... heck... only the raised tail was missing...

I needed to cut it short i was so tired after a long day...
It was hard not asking him to come home with me this night but i don't want to lay claim on all his time, i want him to be with his friends as well.

When i see them together i can fell how much i actually miss Starlight... I miss the comfort and unity of others. I have not yet found a similar group but maybe i need to look harder.

I found a note i wrote will i was running... It is about Jas. I cannot lie to myself i do miss him, we had something together and he was... my first. I just turned bad so fast and i was not the one he really wanted... or does he even know what he wants still?

*reads from the note*

I cant help it, i promised myself i wouldn't think of him more.
It's been eleven months and counting since you moved on but i am still stuck.
Cause every time a am a place where we have been together it reminds me of you, fills my head with sweet alluring memories.
Will i ever get strong enough to move on?

Since you left everything is still the same, the only difference is that you call another your love.
Dismiss and discard what we had together.

Am i all alone in the world? There is no love left as i gave my heart away to someone who did not want it.
 
He told me i am free to find someone that deserves me but i never felt changed. 

Nothing makes sense to me anymore. I feel out of beat with the world without beside me. Everything goes by in slow motion: the night is so cold and lonely... The darkness creeping near... closer and closer...
I should be moving on but i am still holding on to you.

*chuckles a little as she finishes reading out aloud to herself*

Well new memories are being made to cover the old ones.
I got strong and i did move on and i was never alone cause you were there by my side all the time, you came every time i called, every time i needed someone to be there for me. How could i have been so blind and not seen it back then.

Well i will make up for all the pain i have caused and all the trouble i have been that i swear to the light.

- the light help me to keep this promise to myself and keep him safe because he is truly one of your servants even if he does not know it himself.