At home on the cliff

What have i done to deserve this?! it has been years since i have felt such happiness, felt so special, felt wanted.

I went to see fathers grave today, told him all that had happened then out of the blue Jeff appears wanting me to follow him. I could not see Jerry around which was odd so i followed.
He took me to a box. It was a gift... a gift for me.
It was a red silken dress similar to the one that dreanei we saw yesterday wore. It is so beautiful. Then he came himself... Oh i can watch him for eternity...
He held me close and kissed me.

I felt it could not get any better when suddenly he takes me on a trip, to the islands outside the jungle near home. It was somewhat hard being there again but i would not spoil anything. He had made that rabbit stew i love so much.
we went swimming... By the light i want him SO badly, seeing his almost naked body was almost more than i could bare... so i cut the trip short.

Inviting him home...I could get use to having him here... I hope he will stay tomorrow until i can come back from the cathedral.

I sit here outside the house in the cool night breeze, my heart is racing and my skin is hot... every fiber is screaming for him. So i needed to cool of a bit. It is just so hard laying there with him so close, when he holds me close in his sleep. I long to give in but i need to hold on a little longer, it still dosen't feels right.

Should i put anything into him not responding to what i said about him making my world a better place? that i hope i can make him as happy as he makes me?
Or does he fear the same as me... that i cannot?
It is the darkness and doubt in myself that is talking... I will not let it affect me regarding him... i just want him to be happy... more than anything.

It could sounds as if i have lost myself in this but this is mostly because i do not have a lot else to do yet, my training with Brianna is still going slow, she wants me to take it easy though i do not know why.

I think i have an idea for the coming weekend i just hope he will be free early so we can go...


- The light shine brightly and light my path away from darkness.